FOUR COURSE MEAL: PART TWO

SOUP OR SALAD: TRANSGENDER MODELING

If you can model a bra and a pair a boxer briefs, then my friend, you have a gift. I think of it as having an Ace in your poker hand, it’s no different than going into a job interview and having more skills than the other applicants. More skills mean more of a chance of getting hired. So if you’re a clothing company and you only need one model on the payroll, why not hire a person who rocks a C cup and packs heat on daily basis? That is how you succeed as a small business, asset management! Would your little world really be that disrupted if Kate Upton was “Swinging Dixie” or if Hugh Jackman was a little hollow down south? Let’s face it; we have bigger things to concern ourselves with. However, I’m not sure I could deal with a transgender James Bond. That situation is actually fine how it is, so not everything needs to be ruined with a stupid petition.

PALATE CLEANSER: ALEX RODRIGUEZ

You can’t win them all, as for A-Rod, he can’t seem to win anything lately. I guess that’s what happens when you’re booed by the fans, overpaid, batting under .270, lacking personality, jealous of Derek Jeter, popped for PED’s twice, suspended for two seasons, over-dramatic with your comments (i.e. “fighting for your life”), ratting on other players, filing lawsuits, losing appeals, complaining to the media, not clutch in the playoffs, not fan friendly, overall a complete shame to the game of baseball. Bud Selig’s tactics for nailing A-Rod were certainly dirty, but it doesn’t make Alex any less of a disgrace to the uniform. Go away and don’t ever come back.

PRIME RIBBING: PATENT TROLLS

Probably the dirtiest player in the business, essentially a Patent Troll is a company that files obscure and very generic patents for just about any type of product or service, (none of which they actually created) and as soon as the patent is granted, they turn their lawyers loose on larger businesses to basically extort them of large sums of cash. In many instances, the larger companies quietly hand over a certain dollar amount and this makes the trolls go away for a while. In more depressing scenarios, the legitimate business being sued cannot afford to either settle or fight these assholes in court for various reasons, either they can’t afford the legal fees or if the troll lives in another state or country, it makes travel costs plus political lobbying a mountain the company can’t traverse. Currently the Iron Man of Podcasting, Adam Carolla is being sued for $3 Million by Personal Audio, a company located deep in the heart of Texas, which has been granted a patent for “a system for disseminating media content representing episodes in a serialized sequence"…sounds like a generic pile legal Horses#$t, right?  Thankfully, due to the Ace Man’s pride, legal team and ability to crowd source additional funding, he may very well win this battle and in the long run, save the entire podcasting community. Also note that he started his podcast roughly two weeks before the patent was filed for. I recommend watching this one closely.

ICING ON THE CAKE: THE OLYMPICS

Ah, good ole Russia. Where men are men and the bathrooms are out of order…in some places they never were in order. The opening ceremony was actually quite enjoyable, it reminded me of ‘Rocky IV’ when he fights Ivan Drago. As far as the all issues that have been reported in the first couple weeks, I’m not going to put all the blame on Big Red. How about the IOC that gave Sochi the greenlight to begin with! Maybe they would have been smart enough to know that maybe it wasn’t the best time to have the Olympics in Russia. I’m sure a committee member fell asleep during the voting process, and next thing we know, the water is yellow, the toilets don’t work and stray dogs are disappearing all over Sochi. But I’m pretty sure if the Jamaican Bobsled team takes home the gold, all this jibba jabba will be a minor afterthought. I now pronounce The Hunger, I mean Olympic Games OPEN!!!