PROLOGUE

There is one constant that I believe to be always true; it’s that none of us have a clue. Some of us believe that true freedom is small government and choice without consequence; others believe that this theory leads to chaos and the breakdown of civilization. Some people believe in science and molecules; others believe in cloud people that fire lightning bolts. I’m not here to argue whether Star Trek is better than Star Wars (it is). I’m here to remind you that when you ask that monkey why he threw his feces at another monkey, it’s because he saw a human do it first.

I texted my manager wishing him good luck with his new regional gig in Our City Radio and he responded saying that he would continue to read my articles and that I should come up with a title for my rants that I write weekly. Hey, I have enough crap to do and now a bassist for a metal band is telling me how to present my articles?!?! Wait…Jon Paul Jones, Getty Lee, Les Claypool and Sting are all bassists…okay he might be on to something then. I guess in all that sarcasm lies a positive, Bass Guitarists are geniuses. Now when I write these articles, it’s usually late on a Saturday night and I could be filled with either green tea or cheap brandy. So there is a solid chance that what I write makes absolutely no goddamn sense to anyone including me, but that’s the beauty of it all, I‘m willing to take that risk. The message in my articles will always be positive, but you may have to cross some burning bridges and rocky terrain to get to that positivity.

            The world is filled with bash-happy bloggers and political agendas on all sides, that when you say you don’t like your pizza with pepperoni, someone will call you a racist. It is said that most jokes have a portion of truth behind them. Once again, if you have a common sense bell, feel free to ring it until your ears bleed. I do not push political agendas or complain that V12 Engines are bad for the environment, or that you shouldn’t eat veal. But if you ask me to side with a comedian who told a bad joke or the person who was offended by that bad joke, I will always side with the comedian, because in order to fail; there has to be an attempt. So what I ask from you the reader, is to let go of your hardline feelings and be open minded about what you have been and will hopefully continue to be reading in the coming weeks.

Also don’t drink diet soda, that’s the biggest joke of all.