Cinematic Bantering

Let’s, for a moment, take money out of the equation. Why are we making all these sequels, reboots, re-imaginings, prequels, and spin-offs? Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of original scripts and novel based movies still making their way into theaters and homes. Interstellar, Jupiter Ascending, Edge of Tomorrow, and Snowpiercer are just a few sci-fi originals I can name off the top of my easily forgetful brain. So what about Godzilla, Transformers, Superman? I mean seriously, Taken Three? You would think the bad people had learned the first time. If someone tells me they have a “particular set of skills”, I’m either begging them for forgiveness…or I’m spending the night. I hope you appreciate that last joke, it took me about twelve seconds to come up with and my time is valuable, people!
   I’ve already voiced my opinion about the Superman/Batman movie. I have to draw the line somewhere. However, I was in theaters for ‘Man of Steel’. I was also present for ‘Godzilla’. As I said earlier, take money out of the equation. When it comes to most reboots and such, I generally tend to be an optimist, because maybe the originals were flat out terrible. The original Godzilla(s) were classics…and bad. The original Captain America films from the 1970’s and the remake from 1991 aren’t even on most people’s radar. If a reboot or a sequel is around the corner, I go in hopes that finally, it was done right. I want to leave the theater worn out, but pumped up, laughing, happy with the thought of money well spent. I left the theater last night and droves of people flooded out of ‘Fault in our Stars’ literally crying. It was a sea of dripping mascara and emasculated boyfriends. Why the f&#k would you spend twelve dollars to make you and your friends cry? If I want to cry, I’ll open my high school yearbook. I should burn that thing. I totally get why the ass-wagon didn’t show up for me until college.
Movies like ‘Transformers’ and ‘Avatar’ couldn’t have existed twenty years ago. The technology, production budgets, and foreign market weren’t available then. Even the cost of independent movies have gone up considerably, thankfully many of the high-priced actors are co-producing many of the indie-flicks you’ve seen today. Also film festivals are growing all over the world and movie industry has also begun to invade Comic-Con and of massive yearly conventions.
Circling back to what got this rant started, I’m totally cool and usually excited for reboots and sequels, plus as a viewer I appreciate the fact that production companies are spending 150 to 200 million dollars to make a high-caliber thrill ride of a movie, and not just throwing cash at A-list celebrities. It’s money well spent in my opinion, because it’s one thing spend you money wisely on a movie to keep the costs down, it’s another thing to be totally cheap and ultimately cheat a movie out of it’s true potential. Can you imagine how a low-budget Transformers movie would look?
One more thought I’d like to throw out there. Johnny Depp…take a break.
Hollywood can’t afford you right now. Your movies cost way too much right now and as you’re taking most of it, it’s killing your cinematic value. You’re bombing at and box office, with the critics and with the fans. It’s not your fault though. You just have to disappear for a little while. Say no to another pirate movie, lower your casting fee and ditch the scarves. It’s not that cold out right now so feel free to cut your hair and throw on a t-shirt.
We love you, Johnny Depp. We just hate Captain Jack Sparrow.
Can’t wait for Taken 3 though. Love me some Liam Neeson.